Effective Communication

Jack and Max are walking from religious service.
Jack wonders whether it would be
all right to smoke while praying.
Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks,
"Priest, may I smoke while I pray?"
But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not.
That's utter disrespect to our religion."
Jack goes back to his friend and
tells him what the good Priest told him.
Max says, "I'm not surprised.
You asked the wrong question.
Let me try."
And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks,
"Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
To which the Priest eagerly replies,
"By all means, my son.

Moral: The reply you get depends
on the question you ask.
For Example: Can I work on this
project while I'm on leave?

Internationally acclaimed BEST JOKE!

This particular joke won an award for the best joke
in a competition organized in Britain and this joke
was sent by an Indian Engineer......

An MBA and an Engineer go on a camping trip,
set up their tent, and fall asleep.
Some hours later,
the Engineer wakes his MBA friend.

"Look up at the sky and tell me what you see?"

The MBA replies, "I see millions of stars."

The Engineer asks "What does that tell you?"


The MBA ponders for a minute:


"Astronomically speaking, it tells
me that there are millions of galaxies and
potentially billions of planets.

Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo.
Time wise, it appears to be approximately
a quarter past three.

Theologically, it's evident the Lord is
all-powerful and we are small and insignificant.

Meteorologically, it seems we will
have a beautiful day tomorrow.

What does it tell you?"
.
.
.
.
.
The Engineer friend is silent for a
moment, and then speaks.

"Practically...Someone has stolen our tent".

Happy Dad

Everyone in the wedding ceremony was
watching the radiant bride as her
father escorted her down the aisle to give away to groom.
They reached the altar and the waiting groom,
the bride kissed her
father and placed something in his hand.
Everyone in the room was wondering
what was given tothe father by bride.
The father could feel the suspense in
the air and all eyes were on him
to divulge the secret and say something.
So he announced
"Ladies and Gentlemen today
is the luckiest day of my life."
Then he raises his hands with
what his daughter gave him and continued,
"My daughter
.
.
.
.
.
.
finally returned my credit card to me."
The whole audience including priest
started laughing except the poor groom.

Enjoy..

Tumko dekha....tumko dekha...
Tumko dekha....to yeh khayal aaya
paaglon ke stock mein naya maal aaya!
=====================================
Idhar khuda hai, udar khuda hai,
jidar dekho udar khuda hai,
idhar-udhar bus khuda hi khuda hai
jidhar nahi khuda hai....udhar kal khudega!

======================================
The night is dark, the moon is high,
I stop my car, u ask why?
I come close to u, u feel shy,
I tell u those three magical words....
Hye La, Puncture!!!
======================================
Tumsa koi dusara jameen par hua
to rab se shikayat hogi....
Ek to jehlla nahi jata
doosra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
======================================
Koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
koi pathar se na maare mere dewaane ko........
abe aage bhi to bol...............
nuclear power ka jamaana hai, bomb se udaa do saale ko...................
======================================
tuhaar chehraa moti samaan ..
tuhaar chehraa moti samaan...
moti hamaar kutte ka naam!!
===========================================================
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Durakht ke paymane pe chilman E husn ka furkat se sharmana...
Ye line samajh me aaye to mujhe zaroor batana!!
===========================================================
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge,
tere dar pe sanam hazar baar aayenge.....
ghanti bajayenge aur bhaag jayenge !!
===========================================================
Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske
dil pe chaya hoga...pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein
rakh lun..phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga!!!
===========================================================
Mere marne ke baad mere doston,
yu aansoo na bahana,
Agar meri yaad aaye to,
sidhe upar chale aana!!
===========================================================
Kyon apni kabar khud-hi khod raha hai Galib...
Kyon apni kabar khud-hi khod raha hai Galib...
La, phawda mujhe de!!
===========================================================
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumko dekha to ek khyal aaya
Tumhari saheli ko dekha to doosra khayal aaya!!
===========================================================
Na woh inkaar karti hai
Na woh ikraar karti hai
KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.
===========================================================
Jab Jab gire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
Bheega main,lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
Kyon na aaye teri yaad? Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai...
===========================================================
Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge!!!!:?
===========================================================
Unki gali ke chakkar kaat kaat kar,
Kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye,
Wo to hamare ho na sake,
Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye...
===========================================================
haseen tum ho to bure hum bi nahi,
mahlon mein tum ho to sadak par hum bhi nahi,
pyar karke kehte ho shaadi shuda ho,
kaan kholkar sunlo. kunware hum bhi nahi.
===========================================================
Macchar ne jo kata... dil main mere junoon tha.
Khujli hui itni... dil be-sukoon tha.
Pakada to chod diya yeh soch kar ki....
sale ki ragon main apna hi khoon tha!
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Aaj didar, kal yaar, parso pyar, phir ekrar, aur phir-intezaar,
phir-takrar,phir-darar, saari mehnat-bekar, aur akhir mein-Ek aur
devdas at beer bar!