There was once this guy who is very much in love with his girl.
This romantic guy folded 1,000 pieces of paper cranes
as a gift to his girl. Although, at that time
he was just a small fry in his company,
hisfuture didn't seem too bright,
hey were very happy together.
Untilone day, his girl told him she was going to Paris
and will never comeback.
She also told him that she cannot visualize any future for theboth of them,
so they went their own ways there and then...
Heartbroken, the guy agreed. But when he regained his confidence,
heworked hard day and night, slogging his body and mind
just to make something out of himself.
Finally with all the hard work and the help of friends,
this guy hadset up his own company ..
You never fail until you stop trying.
One rainy day, while this guywas driving,
he saw an elderly couple sharing an umbrella
in the rainwalking to some destination.
Even with the umbrella, they were stilldrenched.
It didn't take him long to realize they were his girl'sparents.
With a heart in getting back at them,
he drove slowly beside thecouple,
wanting them to spot him in his luxury sedan.
He wanted them to know that he wasn't the same any more;
he had his own company, car,condo, etc. He made it!
What he saw next confused him,
the couple waswalking towards a cemetery,
and so he got out of his car andfollowed...
and he saw his girl, a photograph of her smiling sweetly
a sever at him from her tombstone
and he saw his paper cranes rightbeside her...
Her parents saw him. He asked them why this had happened.
Theyexplained, she did not leave for France at all.
She was ill withcancer.
She had believed that he will make it someday,
but she did notwant to be his obstacle...
therefore she had chosen to leave him.
Just because someone doesn't love you the way you wa nt them to,
doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
She had wantedher parents to put his paper cranes beside her,
because, if the daycomes when fate brings him to her again...
he can take some of thoseback with him...
Once you have loved, you will always love.
For what's in your mind mayescape
but what's in your heart will remain forever.
The guy just wept...
The worst way to miss someone is to be sittingright
beside her knowing you can't have her,
see her or be with herever again.........
hope you understand.
Find time to realize that there is one person who means so much toyou,
for you might wake up one morning losing that person
who youthought meant nothing to you.
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Gud one...
A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
but her attention is galvanized
when she hears one of them saythe following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country.......we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives........"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. Who talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell
'Mississippi'."
I BET YOU GONNA READ THIS AGAIN!!!!!
but her attention is galvanized
when she hears one of them saythe following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. In this country.......we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives........"
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. Who talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell
'Mississippi'."
I BET YOU GONNA READ THIS AGAIN!!!!!
Great Answering Machine Messages ..............
These are supposedly actual answering machine announcements.
1. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with
one of these magnets.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now you say something.
5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you
can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon.
If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine.
I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding,
windows or a hot tub,and their carpets are clean.
They give to charity through their office
and do not need their picture taken.
If you're still with me,
leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought
recording device. After the tone,
think about your name, your number
and your reason for calling, and
I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
12. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably
aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.
1. Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator.
Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with
one of these magnets.
2. A is for academics, B is for beer. One of those reasons is why
we're not here. So, leave a message.
3. Hi. This is John: If you are the phone company, I already sent the
money. If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
4. Hi. Now you say something.
5. Hi, I'm not home right now, but my answering machine is, so you
can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.
6. Hello. I am David's answering machine. What are you?
7. Hello! If you leave a message, I'll call you soon.
If you leave a "sexy" message, I'll call sooner!
8. Hi, this is George. I'm sorry I can't answer the phone right now.
Leave a message and then wait by your phone until I call you back.
9. Hello, you are talking to a machine.
I am capable of receiving messages.
My owners do not need siding,
windows or a hot tub,and their carpets are clean.
They give to charity through their office
and do not need their picture taken.
If you're still with me,
leave your name and number and they will get back to you.
10. This is not an answering machine - this is a telepathic thought
recording device. After the tone,
think about your name, your number
and your reason for calling, and
I'll think about returning your call.
11. Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like.
Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
12. If you are a burglar, then we're probably at home cleaning our
weapons right now and can't come to the phone. Otherwise, we probably
aren't home and it's safe to leave a message.
Woman : A Home Maker !!
A father came home and found
his three children were outside,
still in their pajamas, playing in the mud,
with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn
all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open,
as was thefront door to the house and
there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry,
he found an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over,
and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon ,
and the family roomwas strewn
with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink,
breakfast food was spilled on thecounter,
the fridge door was open wide,
dog food was spilled on the floor,
a broken glass lay under the table,
and a small pile of sand was spread by
theback door.
He quickly headed up the stairs,
stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife.
He was worried she may be ill, or that
something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickleof water as
it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside hefound wet
towels, scummy soap
and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap
and toothpaste had beensmeared
over themirrorand walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom,
he found his wife still
curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled,
and asked how his day went. He
looked at herbewildered and asked,
"What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day
when you comehome from
work and you ask me
what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today Ididn't do it."
his three children were outside,
still in their pajamas, playing in the mud,
with empty food boxes and wrappers strewn
all around the front yard.
The door of his wife's car was open,
as was thefront door to the house and
there was no sign of the dog.
Proceeding into the entry,
he found an even bigger mess.
A lamp had been knocked over,
and the throw rug was wadded against one wall.
In the front room the TV was loudly blaring a cartoon ,
and the family roomwas strewn
with toys and various items of clothing.
In the kitchen, dishes filled the sink,
breakfast food was spilled on thecounter,
the fridge door was open wide,
dog food was spilled on the floor,
a broken glass lay under the table,
and a small pile of sand was spread by
theback door.
He quickly headed up the stairs,
stepping over toys and more piles of
clothes, looking for his wife.
He was worried she may be ill, or that
something serious had happened.
He was met with a small trickleof water as
it made its way out the bathroom door.
As he peered inside hefound wet
towels, scummy soap
and more toys strewn over the floor.
Miles of toilet paper lay in a heap
and toothpaste had beensmeared
over themirrorand walls.
As he rushed to the bedroom,
he found his wife still
curled up in the bed in her pajamas, reading a novel.
She looked up at him, smiled,
and asked how his day went. He
looked at herbewildered and asked,
"What happened here today?"
She again smiled and answered, "You know every day
when you comehome from
work and you ask me
what in the world did I do today?"
"Yes," was his incredulous reply.
She answered, "Well, today Ididn't do it."
The Doctor !
A 90-year-old man was having his annual checkup.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better," the old man replied.
"I'vegot an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant
& delivered a child.
What is your opinion about that,Doc?"
the old man asked.
The doctor thought for a moment,then said,
"Well, letme tell you a story.
I know a guy who is an hunter.
Henever misses a season for hunting.
But,one day he's ina bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his
umbrella instead of his gun. The doctor continued, "So
he's walking in the woods near a creek,and suddenly he
spots a lion in some brush in front of him. He raises
up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes
the handle.
BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief.
Someone else must have shot that lion."
"Exactly"... Said the Doc.
The doctor asked him how he was feeling.
"I've never been better," the old man replied.
"I'vegot an eighteen-year-old bride who's pregnant
& delivered a child.
What is your opinion about that,Doc?"
the old man asked.
The doctor thought for a moment,then said,
"Well, letme tell you a story.
I know a guy who is an hunter.
Henever misses a season for hunting.
But,one day he's ina bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his
umbrella instead of his gun. The doctor continued, "So
he's walking in the woods near a creek,and suddenly he
spots a lion in some brush in front of him. He raises
up his umbrella, points it at the lion and squeezes
the handle.
BAM! The lion drops dead in front of him."
"That's impossible!" said the old man in disbelief.
Someone else must have shot that lion."
"Exactly"... Said the Doc.
Ten Best Things to Say if you Get Caught Sleeping at Your Desk
10. "They told me at the Blood Bank this might happen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent to me ."
8. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."
7. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.(Then raising your voice....) Are you discriminatory toward
people who practice Yoga?!"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?"
1. [Raise head slowly and say], "...In Jesus' name, Amen."
9. "This is just a 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent to me ."
8. "I wasn't sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new business strategy."
7. "I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance."
5. "I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress.(Then raising your voice....) Are you discriminatory toward
people who practice Yoga?!"
4. "Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out how to handle that big accounting problem."
3. "Did you ever notice sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?"
2. "Who put decaf in the wrong pot?"
1. [Raise head slowly and say], "...In Jesus' name, Amen."
Doctor's Receptionist * Gud one *
Hi, Check this out..
I laughed out so load at this one .....
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office
why you are there and you say in front of others
what's wrong and sometimes it's embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist
who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients
I know most of us have experienced this,
and I love the way this old guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room.
As he approached the desk, the Receptionist said,
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The Receptionist became irritated and said,
"You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's Room
and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some
embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is
something wrong with your ear
or something and then discussed the problem further
with the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others,
if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes
and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled,
knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The Waiting Room erupted in laughter...
I laughed out so load at this one .....
This is so true! They always ask at the doctor's office
why you are there and you say in front of others
what's wrong and sometimes it's embarrassing.
There's nothing worse than a Doctor's Receptionist
who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients
I know most of us have experienced this,
and I love the way this old guy handled it.
An 86-year-old man walked into a crowded Doctor's Waiting Room.
As he approached the desk, the Receptionist said,
"Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?"
"There's something wrong with my dick," he replied.
The Receptionist became irritated and said,
"You shouldn't come into a crowded Doctor's Room
and say things like that."
"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.
The Receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some
embarrassment in this room full of people.
You should have said there is
something wrong with your ear
or something and then discussed the problem further
with the Doctor in private."
The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people things in a room full of others,
if the answer could embarrass anyone."
The man walked out, waited several minutes
and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?"
"There's something wrong with my ear," he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled,
knowing he had taken her advice.
"And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?"
"I can't piss out of it," the man replied.
The Waiting Room erupted in laughter...
No risk, No reward !
Take a good look at what's left of your life and
decide to make it count.
Life's saddest words are found on a tombstone that reads:
"When it came time to die, I had not lived."
It's frightening to take risks and try new things.
We think, " What if Ifail?" What if you do?
It won't be your first mistake.
And no matter howbad it is it probably won't be your worst mistake.
And unless you fail at something really spectacular l
like attempting to climb Mount Everest or
swim the English Channel, it probably won't be your last mistake. One
thing you can count on, whichever way it goes you'll grow in wisdom,
experience and character. In other words,
you'll become wiser for just having tried.
Rick Warren writes: "I could have taken a hundred gift and
ability tests as a young man and
would never have discovered that I was gifted at teaching,
because I had never done it! It was only after
I began accepting opportunities to speak that I saw the results,
received confirmation from others and realized God has gifted me to do this."
Unless you're willing to risk getting involved you're not going to know
what you're good at. The road to success is never mistake-free. But
then, neither is the road to failure. So the choice is yours. That's why
Paul writes, "Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you
have been given, and then sink yourself into that" ( Galatians 6:4 TM).
No risk, no reward!
decide to make it count.
Life's saddest words are found on a tombstone that reads:
"When it came time to die, I had not lived."
It's frightening to take risks and try new things.
We think, " What if Ifail?" What if you do?
It won't be your first mistake.
And no matter howbad it is it probably won't be your worst mistake.
And unless you fail at something really spectacular l
like attempting to climb Mount Everest or
swim the English Channel, it probably won't be your last mistake. One
thing you can count on, whichever way it goes you'll grow in wisdom,
experience and character. In other words,
you'll become wiser for just having tried.
Rick Warren writes: "I could have taken a hundred gift and
ability tests as a young man and
would never have discovered that I was gifted at teaching,
because I had never done it! It was only after
I began accepting opportunities to speak that I saw the results,
received confirmation from others and realized God has gifted me to do this."
Unless you're willing to risk getting involved you're not going to know
what you're good at. The road to success is never mistake-free. But
then, neither is the road to failure. So the choice is yours. That's why
Paul writes, "Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you
have been given, and then sink yourself into that" ( Galatians 6:4 TM).
No risk, no reward!
Tuesday, January 17, 2006
Lord also knows
A man, walking along a California beach, was deep in prayer. Suddenly,
the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you
one wish".
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want".
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to
reach the bottom of the Pacific ! The concrete and steel it would take!
It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is
hard for me to justify your desire for wordly things. Take a little more
time and think of something that would honour and glorify me".
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish I
could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's
thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she
means when she says 'nothing's wrong' and
how can I make a woman truly happy".
The Lord said, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge ?"
the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, the Lord said
"Because you have TRIED to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you
one wish".
The man said, "Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can drive over any time I want".
The Lord said, "Your request is very materialistic. Think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking. The supports required to
reach the bottom of the Pacific ! The concrete and steel it would take!
It will nearly exhaust several natural resources. I can do it, but it is
hard for me to justify your desire for wordly things. Take a little more
time and think of something that would honour and glorify me".
The man thought about it for a long time. Finally he said, "Lord, I wish I
could understand my wife. I want to know how she feels inside, what she's
thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she
means when she says 'nothing's wrong' and
how can I make a woman truly happy".
The Lord said, "You want two lanes or four lanes on that bridge ?"
Nice Conversation :
WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?
"HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do.
"WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?
"HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again.
"WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?
"HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.
"WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?
"HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?
"WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?
"HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new.
"WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?
"HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do.
"WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?
"HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed.
"WIFE: - - - - silence - - -
- HUSBAND: "Sh*t
"HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not - don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do.
"WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?
"HUSBAND: "Okay, I'd get married again.
"WIFE: "You would? (with a hurtful look on her face).
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan).
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?
"HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house.
"WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?
"HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?
"WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?
"HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new.
"WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?
"HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do.
"WIFE: "Would she use my golf clubs?
"HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed.
"WIFE: - - - - silence - - -
- HUSBAND: "Sh*t
Perspective
Different perspective:
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip,
the father asked his son,
"How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see ho w poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered:
a.. " saw that we have one dog and they had four.
b.. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have creek that has no end .
c.. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
d.. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon .
e.. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight .
f.. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others .
g.. We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
h.. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them ."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
One day a father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the firm purpose of showing his son how poor people live.
They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip,
the father asked his son,
"How was the trip?"
"It was great, Dad."
"Did you see ho w poor people live?" the father asked.
"Oh yeah," said the son.
"So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?" asked the father.
The son answered:
a.. " saw that we have one dog and they had four.
b.. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have creek that has no end .
c.. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night.
d.. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon .
e.. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight .
f.. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others .
g.. We buy our food, but they grow theirs.
h.. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them ."
The boy's father was speechless.
Then his son added, "Thanks, Dad, for showing me how poor we are."
Isn't perspective a wonderful thing?
Makes you wonder what would happen if we all gave thanks for everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have.
Her Diary Vs His Diary :-)
HER DIARY
Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to
meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset
at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet
so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him,
he simply smiled and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior; I don't know
why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing
to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed.
I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront
him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.
I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that
his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today India lost. DAMN IT.....
Sunday night - I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to
meet at a cafe to have some coffee. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset
at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet
so we could talk, he agreed but he kept quiet and absent.
I asked him what was wrong - he said, "Nothing."
I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him,
he simply smiled and kept driving.
I can't explain his behavior; I don't know
why he didn't say, "I love you, too."
When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing
to do with me anymore.
He just sat there and watched TV.; he seemed distant and absent.
Finally I decided to go to bed.
About 10 minutes later he came to bed.
I decided that I could not take it anymore, so I decided to confront
him with the situation but he had fallen asleep.
I started crying and cried until I too fell asleep.
I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that
his thoughts are with someone else.
My life is a disaster.
HIS DIARY
Today India lost. DAMN IT.....
B est of Dilbert "Out-Of-Office" Auto replies
B est of Dilbert "Out-Of-Office" Auto replies
1: I am currently out at a job interview and will reply to
you if I fail to get the position. Be prepared for my mood.
2: You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office.
If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.
3: Sorry to have missed you but I am at the doctors
having my brain removed so that I may be promoted to management
4: I will be unable to delete all the unread, worthless emails you send me until I return from vacation on 4/18. Please be patient and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.
5: Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first ten words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
6: The e-mail server is unable to verify your server connection and is unable to deliver this message. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see how many in-duh-viduals did this over and over).
7: Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.
8: Hi. I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.
9: Hi! I'm busy negotiating the salary for my new job. Don't bother to leave me any messages.
10: I've run away to join a different circus
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)